the trance

it was a good start earlier in the morning...

approaching afternoon, things were started to get messy...

later that day,,,I couldn't hold myself and almost got into corel with 'him'

i'm a kind of person who don't normally like to get corel with anybody. at most, i become silent and kind of ignoring him. but once i got angry, it can blows up so badly. i do and try so badly not to get into this situation.

i hate when people underestimate my talent, ability and skills.

to sum up, i'm not in a good mood at this moment,,,,not at all....

,,,a simple message from the bottom of my heart,,,

Yesterday, I had an interesting conversation with my colleauge concerning "the paradigm". Hmmm....sounds like a heavy topic, isn't??? well....that depends on how you see it, i.e. your paradigm...

 In the beginning, i asked him if he was still active as the alumni of ESQ (a.k.a mind's training i would say ;-) he then told me that he is. He then started to talk more about it as well as other trainings such as the training for Praying Concentration, Tung Desem Waringin, JRP, Anthony Robins etc.

In the middle of our conversation, I said, "if we want to join that kind of training, our paradigm has to be set as the trainer's paradigm. That way, we could then understand what is being transformed and later accept that 'theory'. That's why, although I'm willing to hear others' paradigm, I may or may not agree with theirs. My friend disagreed,,,He then said that you don't have to alter your paradigm. Yours is yours and the trainers are there not to change your paradigm. He continued by saying that we have to know all the paradigms that are available out there. Therefore, we can grow and that it is a good thing to gather as many paradigm as possible. Give yourself a chance to be crazy and to go for nowhere,,,,once in your life !!! Hmmm.....

An intriguing question would be....

Should we follow our own paradigm or to follow and accept others' paradigms? The answer is again very typical ;-) That depends....

IN MY OPINION,,,you can learn, read and hear others' paradigms or even copy some of them if necessary (mix & match), BUT having my own paradigm and perception would be much valuable, because everyone has different path of life to follow and different destiny and that cannot all be copied by others. I'm keeping myself open minded for everything. At the same time, I do have my own principal to hold on, which make me different from the rest.

Peace....

ladies and gents...!!!

always remember to be grateful to what you have, what you owned and what you have achieved in life. Not everyone has exactly the same path of life as you have. Think about it...!!! You might be luckier than your friends or neighbours.

pay attention to the unfortunates so that you know how to be grateful and how to respect life the way it should be.

well,,,this is just another thought of mine to kind of make me feel better today

^^^ Have a Nice Day Everybody ^^^ 

Tonight, as I listened to the dialogue held on the Islamic Online, I started to wander of my own choice in wearing hijab  I started to think of the first time I was wearing it. Did I choose to wear it myself, or was my parent push me? No…none of them actually. Let me tell you my story briefly.

I was born in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, 24 years ago. I joined the Indonesian School for my kindergarten till my junior high. I remembered when I was in the fifth grade; I saw my seniors were wearing hijab at school. Later on, my friend asked me to start wearing one. Just because of their request, I started to wear it although I did not wear it properly; in a sense that I wore hijab but with a short-sleeve skirt. I didn’t know exactly why I had to wear it, nor that was I curious to ask. All I know at that time that it was a kind of norm for all female students to wear hijab closing to their final grade in primary school. So, there was me, standing there with my hijab on

Later on, when I returned to Jakarta to continue junior high grades, I started to wonder why did I wear hijab. And it didn’t occur after my friends asked me of my reasons. Looking back, I would say that I was pretty much lack of concern of anything surrounding me. I tend to follow what others do as I thought that was the norm or habit

Nowadays, especially when I live and study in the non-Muslim countries, I started to question myself. What is exactly the reason of me wearing hijab? Without me answering this question, my feeling had already answered it. I felt outstanding and people around me treat me differently. With different I mean, in both positive and negative ways. Especially in my present campus where it has a strong Christian identity where I am the only student with hijab, it gave me a kind of plus point, I would say. Obviously, it goes without saying that some people did look at me with a bit of wonder and with a strange look, but that’s ok. As I would have expected once I entered the campus, the first question people asked me was “why did you wear that thing.” That thing is the hijab. It is an obligation for all Muslim women to cover their obliged body parts. And this is our way to cover it by wearing hijab and not to show off our body except face and hands.

Honestly, I feel secure, comfort and respected with wearing hijab. It shows my identity, it shows that I’m different from the rest of the women out there and most importantly, people treat me differently

Mood: --sTd--
Listening to: Yusuf Islam

Covey talks about the importance of speaking and listening as forms of communication. Especially with the listening, here, he didn’t mean a regular listening, instead, an empathic listening. It is listening with the intention to understand rather than to reply. In most cases, when a person talks to you, a logic step would be for you to reply. However in this habit, Covey emphasized the need of understanding others (the need to diagnose before prescribe) before he or she could response – to reply, to repeat or simply to listen.

What is interesing is the way Covey divided listening into four levels, which I sometimes use, unconsciously, depending on the situation and the type of story that is being told. Empathic listening goes beyond a mere technique. It is neither active nor reflective listening. It is the ability to seek to understand what the person is saying by understanding his paradigm and to understand his feeling.

A new term introduced by Covey in a discussion of this habit is the ‘psychological air’ which was a bit similar with the Emotional Bank Account. That is, the way of communicating your interest and understands to the person doing the talking, non-verbally. And so, it gives him the feeling that you are with him and that it signals him to continue with his talks. There is also the advantage of understanding others first, that is, to eventually create a win/win situation, as the example given by Covey, when the manager had to negotiate with the large national banking institution. Because his strategy was listening what the other party had to say first, then later explained his perspective, it creates a nice environment where no one fight for air to speak.

“Seek first to understand” is the first part of the discussion in this habit. The second part is “To be understood.” Whereas the first part deals with the ability to listen in order to understand, this second part deals with the ability to be heard in order to be understood. In order to do so, Covey suggested that a person should have something that could attract or create the benefit for those who listen. Furthermore, he suggested us to be an influence able person in order to influence back.