Back to Basics
Mood: Modest
Listening to: Clock ticking
Hi Bloggers... it is I.. the un-read, un-accomplished and terminally apologetic Isha, returning to lavish my blog with words of my challenging journey. And believe me it IS a challenge!!
Recently a short medical visit for a check up landed me in hospital for 6 weeks. A large chunk of life flitted away uselessly. I earnt no money and moved in no direction but back. Not to mention the experience was quite traumatic, pesky doctors with their 'medical models'.
I felt that I was lining up to become an experiment and keenly wished to leave. The days snailed past, minutes making up hours... towards the end I could barely sleep from the stress of just being there wasting my time. Finally, I realised that the hospital stay could have been avoided and cursed at the loss of 6 weeks of my life, the severing of my confidence, the loss of my faith in life and felt depressed and frustrated by all the outcomes including the weight gain (size 8 to size 12)!!
Now, I am again looking at my direction. Before this hospital stay things were cruising. I had made a pack of guidance cards with beautiful artwork on them, the idea being to produce and sell.. I was in the midst of changing my career direction anyway. Made-over a house turning it from a frumpy messy old dump into a gleeming mansion full of potential and pouring out with heritage and spirit.
I had hope about the future and of no longer being alone... but, I realised that the person I was going to trust was probably not trustworthy - I freaked out realising the danger I was in and wrote him not to contact me again, even talked with the police about how to get him to leave me alone. !!He scared the hell out of me - he still does. He is still being cruel and unpredictable, I am still afraid.
About to go Northward to the tropics to continue things up there - find a new mansion to revive, write and try to get published.. ? Eeeek! Must go.
Thanks to anyone who is reading and cheerio.
