Spirited Opinion
Mood: Inspired
Listening to: Euphoria
I don't generally like to give up on people, I made it almost a mission that I dont want to be like everyone else. And, since I dont play the games that most people play, I can get walked on.
I believe we can all achieve whatever we desire if we are prepared to go for it. If you ever give up on yourself for a second and believe that you are defeated then you will be - simple. This might sound like an arrogant attitude to have especially for someone who fails alot.
But, I figure, perhaps, I was the only person who could handle all this and perhaps my staying power is a message in itself and could help someone, somewhere get through a tough time.
I have a nuclear reactor of positivity inside me. Seriously!!!
It is like an internal sun. It blazes. Never stops.
It is so huge I can't describe it.
I never lose it, even at my lowest times.
It kicks in before too long and charges me up again.
Call it what you like, it could just be a natural human instinct for survival, maybe it is god's love, maybe it is my love of life and how much I want to be here.
Whatever it is, it is a source of unlimited energy and something I know I can rely on.
Without it where would I be? Dead - I expect. Could have been lost to an eternal blackness, misery, doom, failure - eventually suicide.
But, suicide was never going to be an option. It would have just meant that I finally believed I was hopeless, that I had nothing to offer, nothing at all.
I KNOW I have alot to offer.
There is SO much I can do. And, I want to share this.
I want to help.
Pulling myself out of gloom has been one of the hardest things I've ever done. Even though I needed someone to help me, I didnt want to find anyone. I wanted to make it hard for myself, I was down and out and looking at that. I wanted to be down and out. That's how my world is. I dont believe it if I havent seen it for myself.
Now, I can say I have been there and really mean it. It was terrifying, but I guess, a character building experience, it made me much stronger.
This is my personal challenge. I am taking the hardest path, to complete the hardest job. ;)
- someone's gotta do it.
ps. I am not a drug user or ego-maniac even though it may sound otherwise.. all insights taken at readers own risk - writer holds no responsibility for narrow-minded assumptions made by readers with no sense of struggle.
