Madness

Mood: Blase
Listening to: Sitti

It has been a looong time.  I have missed writing about something, nothing and everything.  A lot of things has happened in my life.  Maybe a little too much for just 2 years of not writing.  My eldest, Dana has now turned ten and she is smart, academically inclined and kinda snooty.  My second daughter Leila got everything going for her, gorgeous eyes, pouty lips and wit that could go against the President. My youngest, Yanna is my angel. She never forgets to give me a hug and a kiss every minute or so, she wants one most of the time too.

I have been so busy, tending to financial needs, nestling my family and like all other women, forgot about me.  No self-pity here mind you. Just stating my case in a matter-of-fact way.

For the past year and a half I have been working as an English tutor for Koreans wanting to learn a second language.  I have quit a dynamic environment and a satisfying career in Clientlogic. Working as a Quality Analyst was no mean feat, I was able to survive.  The 11 hours 6 days a week routine was terrible for my family though.  Never got to see the kids, missed them too much.  Now, as a part-time teacher working 5 hours a day, most of my time and attention are directed to my kids.

My routine day in and day out was so consistent that sometimes I find myself staring into space.  Asking the questions that philosophers ask, who am I? What is the purpose of my being and all that shitty nonsense.  In the end of the day have I fulfilled all my roles? What about the role I play as a woman? Have I given justice to "Me"?

I have been missing an unknown something that possibly could make me "maybe" a little more satisfied with who I am.  I have lost a lot of possibilites, followed a different path that seemed at that time logical.  The "what-if's" that crossed my mind every idle time, taunts me.

What happens now?

Mood: Blessed
Listening to: My heart

At last, the 31st of March came. Dana was brought back up to baguio for that special day. I texted her teacher and was told that she needs to be there. In uniform before 8 am. My excited daughter perused all her previous exams wondering loudly what honors she would be given.

She was certain, so certain that she was going to bag the highest. With this in mind, Dana asked me and her tatay where we would treat her. She wanted Wendy's, their fries she tells me is better than Jollibee and Mcdonalds combined. Wow!!! Talk about advertising.

The rites started late and it began to drizzle...some people would think it is a bad omen.  I took it as a blessing. Other special people were given their honors but my ears was tuned to my daughter's name.

She was there at the far end of the court, waiting her turn to be called. Till that time she was called on the stage, I didn't know what she would be getting. Not to my surprise....my daughter was right...as usual she got top honors, a golden medal draped on her neck, my daughter beamed.

My pride knows no bounds. We always tell her and her other siblings that honors doesn't matter getting good grades is. Medals and awards are just added perks and bonuses that she can show off for a year of hard work. She took it upon herself to strive...she and Leila loves walking on that stage. They live for it.

Right now I believe that I am blessed. The hell with emotional plights that cripple me at times. The hell with financial instability. I have my kids, they are better than fine and I thank God for giving me the honor of being their mom. Right now I know and believe in my heart that I am complete.

Mood: Proud
Listening to: chitchat

Dana's recognition got moved to the 31st. My daughter as expected was bummed about it. She was anticipating that moment of receiving her honors. Well...just a few days of waiting time won't hurt. Told her I would just be treating her out....she wants the works.  Like men, if you give an inch they'd want the whole 9 yards...lol.

Leila's recognition in any case went well. Aside from the speaker who I might say is a stupid bloke. The speaker is an alumni holding a high position in the John Hay Corporation. He was comparing the prices of tuitions of my kids school to other schools in our city. One of his sentences goes: "YMCA is a school that harbors good competition with regards to prices because it gives out quality education at a less costly cost."  Hungggh!! That physically hurt my ears not only my intellect.

The hubby and I were laughing our asses off when he tried to compare teachers to talent managers. Not satisfied with that he compared them to turtles and frog too.  Not a good analogy....even with kindergartens as his audience. Are we so hard up with intelligent speakers that we have to just bear with the ignorance and stupidity of our said leaders?

My mom would have a heart attack if she finds out her beloved granddaughter is studying in that school.

My daughter got her just reward for being good. She got honors and a best in math ribbon. I went up for the first...pinned the ribbon on her and smiled with eyes abnormally squinting (I just got from a graveyard shift again). My daughter signalled to me that she wants her "tatay"  to come up for her next ribbon which was surprisingly on the math thingy. Onell went up posed like a hunkie on the ramp and proudly pinned that ribbon on our daughter.

Both of us seemed dazed. Me with lack of sleep and him with his daughter getting an award for Math.

Looking forward to my eldests' recognition rites.

Mood: Reminiscin'
Listening to: Twinkle twinkle lil stars

Dana is my eldest daughter. She was the littlest angel when she entered this world. She weighed 4.2 lbs. My friends had a fun time joking me about the experience that I had when I gave birth to this little one.

Not knowing that I was in labor, I climbed up the steep steps going up to Lourdes Grotto in Baguio City. For a weird moment I just wanted to count the stairs...dont ask me why. While walking up I was pigging out on sweet corn and pepsi....or pipse as the local vendor pronounce it.

Early into the evening body pains assailed me....no specific area...the pain was numbing. I was rushed into the hospital by my husbands bestfriend. Doctors was asking him lotsa questions...first was if he was my husband....terrified...the idiot answered that he was just a concerned citizen.

I remembered people wearing green masks and green robes. Stupidly mumbling to my mom that I know that the Ninja Turtles are only four and asking why I am seeing double. My mom laughed and said all of em were just attendants....none of which are members of the infamous Ninja turtles. DARN!!! And I so wanted autographs.

After 30 minutes of giving birth I was up and checking my kids' fingers toes and the rest of her body. Wondering how a tiny baby full of life came from me. I checked for abnormalities....there was none. Thankfully the Lord has blessed me....and blessed me well.

Right now Dana, my little angel is a seven year old active child. Wonders of wonders...she is also gifted with intelligence and independence beyond her years.

My kid could spell out rendezvous (is that right?) without batting an eyelash and would anticipate an exam with a fervor not on my genes. lolzzzz.

Right now I could not believe that a life and personality like she has now has been molded into shape by me. I just hope that I am doing the right thing in rearing her up. Hopefully she will grow up to be a self-reliant, independent and successful lady who will also have a wonderful family life.

 

Mood: Ecstatic
Listening to: Local Music

Its Sunday morning, one more night and my eldest will be receiving honors for being one of the most intelligent in her class. I don't wanna brag but I think it has something to do with genes.....and its all mine.....lolzzz. It would not be by chance mind you because my 2nd daughter is being recognized the next day for the same reason. 

My kids are over-achievers they know that learning is fun and that they will go far if they persevere right now.

Am so proud of my kids right now....am actually bursting. I do know that this is not my achievement...am just basking in my kids glory....not wallowing in it unlike some mothers do.  Crazy thing about this is that we never pressured them to be honor students. I was just like any working mother trying to make sure that her kids assignments are done in time and is done correctly.

Weird too is the way they celebrate and rejoice everytime an exam week is nearing. Where did these kids come from??? I got terrified whenever there is a ten word spelling quiz bee and here they are waiting for the next long exam.

My kids have the same gusto to learning as I have with eating. They tackle quizzez like I eat my spaghetti. Hope they bring the determination till College or else I'd need to save up for more than 4 years of college for the three of them....god forbid!!!