I feel nothing
Mood: Don't care
Listening to: Make this go on forever - Snow patrol
i feel...........nothing inside me. i feel like i just have no more energy to care or even breathe. my body feels heavy, with every move i make i feel heavier. if i do feel anything, its sadness. i can't help it. i'm trying so god damn hard to get my old life back, but it seems no matter how hard i try, somethings holding me back. i've never wanted to die. i love life. but at the moment i'm not sure how much longer i can take this. at school everyones always asking me if i'm ok or if i want to talk, and all i can do is sit there and stare up at the sky, wishing this pain would just leave me alone.
i can tell people are starting to get really worried about me. its only at school though, most of the time i can hide my pain at home, so i don't worry my family. its like i have 2 lives. the first one is the life where i'm just a depressed little person whom nobody cares about, and she doesn't even care about herself anymore, and then theres the girl who is still fighting for her life inside, but can never let her pain out so no one else has to suffer.
it kills me to know that i'm the only one that can help myself. because i have no idea how to.
the world is a wonderful place....... i just wish i could enjoy it.
