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May 17, 2017 at 10:16 o\clock

LeAnn Rimes: I 'lost it and started crying' before healing relationship with mom

LeAnn Rimes' relationship using her mom offers often been complicated.

So when Rimes sat right down to write songs for her now-released album "Remnants," the nation singer knew your woman desired to create a song regarding the girl mother throughout hopes it might help all of them to heal.

"We wrote ['Mother']...and a couple weeks later on one thing happened along with my stepson," Rimes explained. "Something just clicked and also I lost it and also started crying as well as I sent my mother the text said, 'I realize and also I'm therefore sorry.'"

"My mom as well as I have got had a really rough relationship," Rimes told Fox News. I really feel just like after all of those records, I'm generating the very best audio involving my entire life and also exposing myself as well as being really authentic."

She added, "That song may be a truly large healer regarding my mother along with me."

While Rimes desires to share the actual real her with all the world, she's to become careful to maintain the major things private.

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When your woman chooses to set herself out there, Rimes says she's an "open book." The Girl feels comfy getting so open up with the girl fans since that they reveal their particular lives -- bad and also the good -- with her.

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Rimes told us the girl new audio will end up being the most "authentic and real" she's ever been since releasing her initial single "Blue" within 1996.

"I've been generating songs regarding a lot more than half my life which can easily be insane," the lady said. I've kept her about the outside."

"Growing up in this enterprise along with going through many challenging items christymarks publicly provides not really been easy," the particular 34-year-old shared. "It's a blessing along along with a very interesting location to become from 34. "She basically lost me for the world when I ended up being 13..

Mar 29, 2017 at 23:39 o\clock

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Dec 19, 2016 at 23:59 o\clock

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Dec 15, 2016 at 04:01 o\clock

Western heterosexual masculinity, anxiety, and Web porn.

The notion of a crisis in heterosexual masculine identity has

become something of a commonplace in the literature on men in

contemporary society (see Walzer, 2002). This view, however, seems to

imply that there was a time in which heterosexual masculine identity was

not somehow "at risk"; that is, it might be taken to imply

that a time existed when heterosexual masculine identity was stable and


This view is difficult to sustain. It might make sense, then, to

approach this in terms of relative degrees of crisis. Two reasons can be

presented for adopting this view. The first is that theories of the

subject as decentred suggest that a stable male centre is illusory,

which may normalise anxiety. The second is that Freudian approaches to

masculinity, in particular object relations psychology, suggest that

male sexual identity is always unstable or conducted against a primary

attachment to the mother. These ideas offer ways to reconsider crisis

and, more important here, to approach Western heterosexual masculinity.


Heterosexual masculine identity is an ongoing production of self

that is underpinned by an unfulfillable desire to produce a centre and

to generate a self that represses the initial primary identification

with the mother. In short, heterosexual masculine identity can be

understood to be performed against anxiety. This anxiety is a function

of the (failed) repression of femininity that is central to the

production of male identity.

Many writers have recognised and commented upon this anxiety and

the way that it is manifested in pornography. Their analyses of

pornography suggest that a need to overcome primary identification with

the mother manifests itself in the rejection of femininity through

dominating the feminine, denigrating the feminine, privileging the

masculine, knowing (and controlling) the feminine, and possessing the

mother. Certainly, the Web porn sites examined for this article reflect

these manifestations of anxiety. The fact that Web porn is multimedia,

in which video and text are combined, in which person-to-person

communication can be simulated via a constructed intimacy, (2) means

that it tends to express anxiety more overtly by linking images that

express anxiety with its textual expression.

While the sites are powerful expressions of this anxiety, they also

make it more difficult for men to prove that they are "man

enough," which causes and reflects the anxiety central to being a

heterosexual (Western) man. If being man enough involves proving a lack

of femininity, then the sites seem to add significantly to what must be

done to prove one's masculinity, for they suggest that there are a

plethora of available and libidinous women who can be satisfied by those

men who have what it takes. By implication, those who fail to both take

advantage of these women and satisfy them are not man enough.

This article is divided into four sections. The importance of Web

porn is explained in terms of the way that the Web massively increases

men's access to pornography. The second section presents Western

heterosexual masculinity as underpinned by anxieties that derive from

primary identification with the mother, the otherness of the female body

and femininity, and which have been heightened by feminism. The third

and fourth sections present reasons to believe that Web porn is a clear

and direct expression of the anxiety of Western heterosexual men and

that it serves to intensify this anxiety.

This is neither a call for censoring or controlling Web porn nor a

condemnation of Web porn. Anxiety may be an inevitable feature of

Western heterosexual masculinity and may be essential to the production

of male identity. Further, there is no clear evidence that the

consumption of pornography that expresses and even intensifies

men's anxiety will result in any increase in harm to either the men

themselves or others, such as women and children. Finally, an

intensification of anxiety might cause men, or some men, to consider

personal or social changes that might reduce the levels of anxiety that

exist in all Western heterosexual men. (3)

All but one of the Web sites discussed in this article were hosted

by Nasty Dollars ( At the time of writing, Nasty

Dollars hosted 18 Web sites. (4) These included the Web sites discussed

in this article: MILF [Mothers I'd Like to Fuck] Hunter, 8th Street

Latinas, Mike's Apartment, Cumfiesta, Captain Stabbin', Tranny

Surprise, Street BlowJobs, and MegaCockCravers. (5) The other Web site

discussed in this article is SlutBus. Each of these Web sites, except

MegaCockCravers, provides nonmembers with a general narrative concerning

the Web site, a specific narrative about the women featured, selected

stills, and free video "trailers" in which these women

feature. Members have access to a full set of still photographs and

downloadable videos of the women featured. MegaCockCravers provides

nonmembers with a general narrative, specific narratives for the women

featured, and selected stills. Members have access to more stills and

downloadable videos.


While Web porn is different from most other forms of pornography in

that it uses multimedia, its importance derives from its ubiquity and

the anonymity of its consumption, for the Web provides unparalleled

access to an enormous amount of pornography while allowing consumers to

access that pornography without opening themselves to the social

condemnation that might attend being seen as consumers of pornography.

Further, some commentators believe that Web porn has served to normalise


The Web is important because it has changed or is changing the very

nature of the consumption of pornography. Cooper and

Griffin-Shelly's (2002) "Triple-A-Engine" of

"accessibility, affordability and anonymity ..." (p. 11)

neatly summarizes the ways in which increased consumption of pornography

has been significantly enabled by the Internet. (6) Fisher and Barak

(2001) argue that "spectacular growth in availability of sexually

explicit material on the Internet has created an unprecedented

opportunity for individuals to have anonymous, cost-free, and unfettered

access to an essentially unlimited range of sexually explicit texts,

stills, moving images, and audio materials" (p. 312).

An important consequence of increased accessibility is that it

draws in male consumers who would be unwilling to access pornography in

any other way. As O'Toole (1998) suggested, it is "the only

porn delivery system they've got--or the only one they will use.

The convenience and anonymity of the internet makes it easier for

individuals to try porn out, people who simply wouldn't go into a

sex shop to buy videos, or scour their nearest red-light district

looking for their hard-core magazine of choice" (p. 275). (7)

Increased accessibility means that pornography now affects many more men

than it did when it was delivered through previous technologies.

Some commentators contend that delivery via the Internet has also

made pornography more acceptable or "mainstreamed" it. For

O'Toole (1998), "the hip new Internet phenomenon has made porn

more culturally acceptable to many more people" (p. 274). Cronin

and Davenport (2001), on the other hand, see the normalisation of

pornography as a function of commercial pressures. For them,

"pornographers are exploiting e-commerce (more or less wittingly)

to normalize practices that have been stigmatized or proscribed in

traditional markets and to achieve presence--to make their products and

services more visible and wholesome, like sport or entertainment"

(p. 35). This normalisation is an important aspect of Web porn's

relationship to Western heterosexual masculinity. For it is because Web

porn is more accessible and more normal than it has ever been that its

effects on Western heterosexual masculinity require consideration.


Two principal sources may be asserted of the anxiety that is

fundamental to Western heterosexual masculinity. One is the basic

psychological process of separating from the mother, which is an

essential feature of Freudian psychoanalytic theory, and particularly

object relations theory. The second is the anxiety caused to men by the

presence of the female, both as the unknowable female body and as the

feminine within the male body itself. This anxiety has been intensified

by feminism.


While the source of male anxiety can be understood in a variety of

ways, object relations theory offers useful insights into the anxiety

that is central to ego-formation. The recognition and internalisation of

the separateness of the mother is central to this process. As Chodorow

1978) put it,</p> <pre> ... the infant achieves a

differentiation of self only insofar as its expectations of primary

love are frustrated. If the infant were not frustrated, it would not

begin to perceive the other as separate. Frustration and ambivalence

generate anxiety. Freud first argued that anxiety triggers the

development of ego capacities which can deal with and help to ward

off anxiety. Thus, anxiety spurs the development of ego capacities as

well as the creation of ego boundaries. (pp. 69-70) </pre>

<p>While this process is both constructive and traumatic for

children, the processes through which it is enacted are different. For

the male child it requires (libidinal) detachment from the mother so

that attachment to another woman becomes possible.


An additional source of male anxiety derives from the effects of

two forms of otherness. One of these is the otherness of the feminine

and the feminine as manifested in the female body. The second is the

otherness of the feminine of the male body. Freudian psychoanalytic

theory, augmented by Jungian theory, provides an inspiration for the

analysis. For theories of initial polymorphous perversity combined with

notions of the co-presence of the anima and animus in the human body

suggest that the male body contains both masculine and feminine

possibilities. (8) Another source of inspiration for this analysis is

Foucault's analysis of the power-knowledge nexus, which suggests a

pressure on the male body to know itself and to know its other in the

process of manifesting self- and, more important here, other-control.



The significance of these sources of anxiety has been heightened by

feminism, which is widely accepted as having changed the conditions

within which Western heterosexual masculinity is performed. (10) Its

importance for this analysis lies in its destabilisation of Western

heterosexual masculine identity. As Kaufman (1999) has pointed out,

"with the rise of modern feminism, the fulcrum between men's

power and men's pain has been undergoing a rapid shift. This is

particularly true in cultures where the definition of men's power

had already moved away from tight control over the home and tight

monopolies in the realm of work" (p. 89).

Central to this shift is the extent to which women see themselves

as able to make choices that reflect their treatment by men. For Seidler

(1998), "women felt that if their claims were not met by changes in

men's behaviour, they would make lives for themselves. This was

very threatening to men who had often grown up to think that their

relationship, once established, could be taken for granted as the

background against which they went on to live their individual

lives" (p. 197). Giddens (1992) has argued that feminism's

destabilization of the supports for hegemonic masculinity has led

"male sexuality to become troubled and, very often, compulsive.

Male sexual compulsiveness can be understood ... as an obsessive, but

brittle acting out of routines that have become detached from their

erstwhile supports" (pp. 111-112). An important result of the new

sexual politics is that "many men are unable to construct a

narrative of self that allows them to come to terms with an increasingly

democratized and reordered sphere of personal life" (Giddens, 1992,

p. 117).



The Web sites examined here support the claim that Web porn clearly

and directly expresses the anxiety that porn has always manifested. Four

aspects of these Web sites reflect the anxiety that underpins

heterosexual masculinity. The first is the presentation of men as

hunters. The second is the presentation of women as objects that deserve

no emotional attachment, which is especially evident in the "money

shot." Third, the sites reflect an obsession with women's

genitalia, which is a forlorn attempt to know women's difference

and pleasure. Fourth, the sites reflect a homosociality that is

fundamental to the performance of, and anxieties present to,

heterosexual masculinity. This connection with other male bodies is so

pronounced that the term "homo-heterosexuality" seems

appropriate. A fifth aspect, which is specific to MILF Hunter, is a

concern with the sexual conquest of mothers.

Each of the following sections begins with a discussion of the

preceding analyses of pornography as a manifestation of the anxiety of

heterosexual masculinity. Bird's characterization of heterosexual

masculinity, though, provides a general framework for the following

discussion. For him, heterosexual masculinity is characterized by

"emotional detachment ... competitiveness ... constructed and

maintained through relationships with other men whereby simple

individuality becomes competitive individuality; and ... sexual

objectification of women ... constructed and maintained through

relationships with other men whereby male individuality is

conceptualized not only as different from female but as better than

female" (quoted in Barron & Kimmel, 2000, p. 166).


The presentation of men as hunters might be taken to manifest their

actual dominance but is better understood as reflecting their anxiety.

Horrocks (1995) rightly rejected the contention that pornography

"is a representation of fundamental male attitudes of conquest and

despoliation." A male porn-user is not a triumphant hunter

expressing hubris over the bodies of the conquered, for "his

conquest is illusory, his lust has no object except himself, the female

body that he scrutinizes is in fact replaced as an object of desire by

his own penis. Relations with others fall into a despairing narcissism;

women become phantoms, shadows, projections of his own unmet needs"

(p. 103).

The depiction of men as dominant over woman is most evident in the

narratives of Street BlowJobs, SlutBus, and MILF Hunter. Each is created

by men who hunt for (female) prey. (12) The display of trophies is an

important part of the general narrative of MILF Hunter, for "who

would have thought a hick from Miami could make a site about MILFs ...

that he has hunted down and banged. Finally a place to show my trophy

MILFs." While Street BlowJobs contains no general narrative, each

of the specific narratives begins with "I started this

search." Those interested in SlutBus are told: "The Mission?

Pick up the hottest girls we find. And get them to let us luck them

& cum in their pretty little faces all while video taping the whole

thing." Mike's Apartment generally works through the use of a

lure or trap, but even here we are told that, on at least one occasion,

"We went on the prowl for some new ass for the flat."


The need to degrade and denigrate women, or at least some women, is

a clear expression of the anxiety that drives behaviours that reflect

Western heterosexual masculinity. For Frosh (1994), intimacy is

dangerous to men "because the boundaries of the masculine self are

so fragile that they can be all too easily overwhelmed" (p. 112).

This, in his view, "produces the vicious splitting of the feminine

in male fantasy--the Madonna/whore division that parcels out the safe

sphere of nurture from the demonic sphere of the erotic ..." (pp.

112-113). (14)

No discussion of these Web sites can ignore the attempts to devalue

women in text and images presented. The sites objectify women, relegate them to means for satisfying "normal" (pathological) desire,

and present them as sources of financial reward. While these women are

represented as interested in sex, no matter how interested or willing

these - - women are, they remain things to be used and left for the next


SlutBus was the most overtly and persistently misogynist of the

sites examined (and was included because of this). The very name of the

site bespeaks an aggression toward and need to degrade women. This is

manifested in the general narrative of the site. "We get any slut

we can into our bus ... then we videotape them sucking cock and getting

fucked! We find 'em, we fuck 'em, then dump 'em.... The

fun? Treating these slutty bitches like they deserve to be treated ...

with a slam bam thank ya ma'am & a swift kick in the ass!"

(emphasis added).

The women of SlutBus are sluts, skanks, crazy bitches, tramps, or

whores (one, at least, is a "cock bucket"). (15) All are

"fucked hard," and some are "shredded"; whereas

others need "stuffing." Emotional detachment and sexual

objectification is also manifested at those moments in the narrative at

which the women are presented as deserving their treatment. Usually this

is because they entered the SlutBus in the first place. "Hey,

didn't you parents tell you not to take rides from strangers?"

Occasionally the site reveals a degree of fear that may explain the

misogynist frenzy into which it often descends. One woman's name

"Vixen" suggests a "fox," but the fox is also a

cunning, if not treacherous, creature. Another woman wove "her

Gypsy magic" and wore pigtails "DAMN, I LOVE PIGTAILS! So

Innocent! So deceiving!!!" While the rage expressed in SlutBus is

more extreme than that found in the other sites, all reflected some

rage. (16)

Dominance and denigration are combined in the money shot, which

involves ejaculation over a woman's face, torso, or anus. The money

shot can be interpreted in a variety of ways that reflect different

aspects of its psychological significance) (17) It may show a female

body marked by a successful hunter. Or, as Williams (1990) has

suggested, "repeated ejaculations onto her face could ... be read

as visual proof of her objectification and humiliation" (p. 112).

In his article about the making of a low-budget porn movie, Hart (2000)

recounts a conversation between the director (Margold) and a novice

actress who resists doing a "money shot" because it burns her

eyes. "I don't want it in your eyes," counters Margold.

"l want it in your face. It's what sells. It's the most

important thing in this business. When anybody comes in your face,

everybody in the audience is coming in your face!" The money shot

is a common feature of video, film, and Web porn. It is central to the

title of the Cumfiesta site but is present in all of the sites discussed



Male anxiety is also expressed in an obsession with women's

genitalia. Horrocks (1995) argues that, in photographic pornography

"the model splays her legs, opens her vagina to the camera. Part of

the intent is to demystify the mystery of the female body ..." (p.

106). Williams (1990) has suggested that the desire to know the female

body, especially the forbidden parts of that body, was expressed in a

great deal of visual pornography of the '60s and '70s. In her

view, this pornography was "never intended simply to celebrate a

sexual permissiveness 'liberated' by the American sexual

revolution; it was at least partly linked, as this revolution was itself

linked, to a quest for greater knowledge about sexuality" (p. 72).

The need to see women's genitalia, which is common to all

hardcore pornography, is present in all of the sites discussed here.

Indeed, they seem to reflect "early, primitive forms of hard core,

[in which] sex is more simply (that is, less problematically)

represented according to certain basic principles of maximum

visibility--whether that visibility constructs a narrative event or

not" (Williams, 1990, p. 91). The fact that the narrative provided

is very weak, even weaker than that to be found in videos, means that

the focus on display and penetration is paramount to the pornography

provided on the Web sites. The regular and considerable attention that

is given to penetration (18) is an expression of men's inability to

know a revered and feared object: a women's body. Horrocks has

suggested that "both the breast and the vagina must be compulsively

examined, because they are 'treasures' not possessed by the

man" (Horrocks, 1995, p. 114).


Another expression of the anxiety that drives Western heterosexual

masculinity is the desire for recognition from other men. (19) Connell

(1995) has suggested that "by adolescence, the construction of

heterosexuality was a collective practice usually undertaken in peer

groups" (p. 123). Wight (1996) links this to the idea of men as

hunters. In his view, "the predatory discourse ... comes out of a

profoundly homosocial culture.... it involves the stereotype of

masculine sexuality, in which men gain esteem from their male peers by

having as many sexual partners as possible" (p. 154). This

homosociality, or homo-heterosexuality, is evident in a variety of ways

and makes clear that the consumption of pornography also expresses

men's desire for men.

Another reading of this style of pornography is also available. In

this reading, pornography is understood to represent homosexual fantasy.

Put simply, the male viewer identifies with the woman and not, as might

be presumed, the man. Of the various fantasies expressed in the

pornography that depicts sex between a man and a woman, "also

present is the passive wish to be penetrated, to be the object of the

other ..." (Cowie, 1992, p. 140). In Giddens' (1992) view,

"for boys and girls alike impulses towards submissiveness and

mastery become interconnected, and the wish to be dominated is a

powerful residue of the repressed awareness of the mother's early

influence" (pp. 126-127). (20)

All of the sites, with the exception of Street BlowJobs, involve

the participation of more than one man. This other man is sometimes only

the camera operator and sometimes a participant in sex. Captain

Stabbin' is always accompanied by another man (sometimes his

"first mate"). The fact that Captain Stabbin' is

presented as "The Anal Adventure" can be taken to be a

reflection of a niche taste for anal sex but seems also to suggest

homo-heterosexual desire. This paradox is presented in the general

narrative itself: "What's better than a girl with a hot pussy?

A girl with a hot pussy getting poked in the ass!"

The protagonists of SlutBus are always accompanied by other men,

whose performance and genital dimensions seems as exciting to the other

men as they are supposed to be to the women involved. Max's

"giant black cock" often receives favourable comment. While

"Coco had been bugging to find a sweet Philipino girl to watch get

fucked hard!!! So we ... found Coco's fantasy downtown by the

courthouse just waiting to get her tight little pussy fucked!!!!"

The best example of the second reading, homosexual fantasy, is

found, of course, in Tranny Surprise. Each woman on this site presents a

challenge: "Cross-dresser? Pre-Op Post-Op?" The penises of

cross dressers and pre-ops are regularly presented. Sometimes the man

depicted performs oral sex or has anal sex performed on him. This may be

a reflection of the niche marketing of this portal, but it also seems a

good reason to believe that the sites express homosexual fantasies on

the part of heterosexual consumers of pornography. Tranny Surprise can

be taken to express the desires that are less directly presented in

normal hardcore pornography.


An aspect of Web porn that seems somewhat unusual is the branding

that is achieved through reference to mothers. MILF Hunter is an example

of this. (22) Those who have been influenced by Freud's work would

not be surprised by the overt reference to desire for the mother, though

in this case the desire for mothers is represented as a desire for other

people's mothers. (23) For those who apply object-relations

psychology, "A basic trust, the very source of ontological

security, is intrinsically compromised, since the boy is abandoned to

the world of men by the very person who was the main loved adult upon

whom he could count" (Giddens, 1992, p. 115). Thus, "a

narrative of self-identity has to be developed which writes out the pain

of the deprivation of early mother-love" (Giddens, 1992, p. 116).

As Horrocks (1995) put it, the consumption of pornography is an

expression of "preoedipal trauma: she is also the hallucinatory image of one's long-lost mother, with her endlessly available body,

her capacious breasts, her womb which men yearn to re-enter" (p.

123). For Frosh (1994), "the boy turns away from the mother and

identifies with the father ... but this process is so infused with

anxiety ... that father and mother are split into paternal and maternal

'principles,' the one idealised, the other devalued" (pp.

110-111). (24) The desire to master the mother may also play itself out

in terms of "romantically imagining oneself or others as idealised

heroes or gods...." This is a "means of disconnecting--in

infancy or adolescence--from the woman who first mothered us"

(Sayers, 1997, p. 98).

The pursuit and sexual conquest of mothers and the

homo-heterosexuality manifested in Web porn are significant in that they

express important attributes of Western heterosexual masculinity.

Homo-heterosexuality reflects the extent to which other men are the real

audience for the expression of Western heterosexual masculinity, and it

is a desire for recognition by and connection with other men that drives

Western heterosexual masculinity. This process is infused with anxiety,

since the desire for the appreciation of other men cannot be

acknowledged without threatening the performance of Western heterosexual

masculinity itself. The pursuit of mothers reveals yet another dimension

of the anxiety that drives Western heterosexual masculinity. This

anxiety is also reflected in the attempt to present the self as a

dominant hunter of women; the practice of degrading women, particularly

in the money shot; and the obsession with female genitalia expressed in

the sites under consideration.



While pornographic Web sites are significant because the

pornography presented on the sites discussed reproduces the functions of

pornography in a pre-IT environment and reflects Western heterosexual

masculinity of an analogue machine age (in which the digital machine is

simply a different type of machine). The pornography available on these

sites, however, also intensifies the level of anxiety that is central to

the performance of Western heterosexual masculinity.

The argument presented in this section relies upon the premise that

viewing the material presented in these sites affects men's sense

of themselves. More specifically, it affects their responses to a basic

driver of Western heterosexual masculinity: "a fear that as men we

are not 'man enough' and a sense that men have to be

constantly prepared to prove their male identities" (Seidler, 1998,

p. 195). Bird's suggestion that Western heterosexual masculinity

involves competitiveness takes on particular salience in this context,

since it is a potential source of increasing anxiety with respect to the

performance of masculinity. Men are anxious to prove themselves and

become more anxious as more needs to be done to produce this proof.

Two effects of the Web sites, either individually or in combination

(i.e., through portals such as Nastydollars) seem important. One effect

of these sites is to demand that men conquer increasing numbers of women

to demonstrate their manliness, for the Web sites redefine the norm

associated with the number of "trophies" that must be

collected in order to demonstrate true manliness. Not only are more

women to be had, however; normal women are also represented as having to

be satisfied. The Web porn presented in the sites discussed establishes

and reinforces the idea that women can only be satisfied by men with

large penises who can maintain erections for indefinite periods. (25)


An important aspect of the reality of these encounters is, at least

according to those who produce the narratives for these sites, that the

world is full of women who desire sex with men. (26) The general

narrative of Cum Fiesta contains the following: "NEWS BULLETIN: Do

you have ANY idea how EASY it is to find horny ass chics that want to

get fucked? They are ALL OVER the Web in places like erotic personals,

chatrooms and AOL. We've met up with TONS of these HORNY ASS

teens...." This idea is also repeated in specific narratives. One

of the women of CumFiesta "came in and flashed me her G-string

right off the bat." Another "flashed her tits right there in

the doorway, and then, when we got in the room, she started teasing me

by fingering her asshole."

The message that is reiterated on these sites is that the women

involved were ready, usually eager, participants. The site "8th

Street Latinas" sometimes plays on stereotypes of more sexually

free South and Central American women. "With a little convincing

..." one woman "came by.... The best part is she spoke some

real dirty Spanish, and it was turning me on big time!" However, it

also tends to reiterate the eager woman theme. "After a few beers

and 100 degree, sun I asked her if she wanted to come back and hang out

at the pool at my house. It was an easy sell, and we were back at the

pad in no time."

Geena of MILF Hunter "was a go-getter! She came on to me the

moment we shook hands and was ready to continue partying at my

place." One of the women featured in SlutBus "loved to suck

Max's Huge Black cock so much that she couldn't even talk!!

She just moaned "UNGH UNGH UNGH'!" Another "squeaky

little slut was very horny and hasn't had sex in four months and

needed a big cock bad."

The creators of Street BlowJobs seek to encourage members by

advertising "Cum Craving Chicks Inside!!" One of the women

featured in StreetBlowJobs went "on about her BF and how he was a

dick and the fact that he didn't use it enough." The

protagonist of this Web site asked another women "on a date and she

said no. I then offered her some loot to get freaky and she just went

for it. I am tellin' you guys ... girls are sluts, baby!" In

the case of Salina, "it was as easy as 1, 2, 3...." Many of

the women presented in this site were not immediately eager to engage in

sex with a stranger; however, all of them responded positively to the

offer of money or more money. (27)

The premise of Mike's Apartment, in which women allow the

recording of various sexual acts for accommodation, requires willing

participants. However, some of the women are represented as being more

willing than others. "Silke had to be the easiest flatmate ever to

find. She saw my site and emailed me! How about that for easy! She sent

me an email saying she was going to be in town and really wanted to stay

in the apartment and was more than excited to have some hot sex instead

of paying the rent."


Exposure to Web porn will contribute to a reevaluation of

understandings of the level of sexual activity that manifests true

manliness. As Sophie Freud (1999) has pointed out, "the people who

use 'normal' in the sense of 'average,' have a

reference group in mind and that this reference group may not be

considered normal by other people" (p. 334). While an endless

stream of sexual conquests has long been a dominant male fantasy, the

unreal nature of this fantasy was usually close to the surface for most

men. (28) The existence of a plethora of libidinous women who are

willing to have sex with (not overly attractive) strangers represents a

source of significant anxiety for those men who are unable, or

unwilling, to achieve the number of conquests that are presented as

being available to them. This is important because of the fact that, as

Seidler (1998) put it, "men can feel good about themselves only by

putting other men down ... [so that] I can feel good about myself only

by knowing that I am doing better than others" (p. 203).


Possibly as a result of a combination of sexual liberation and

feminism, women are assumed to have needs that require satisfaction (and

which may only be satisfied by men with capacities greater than those of

normal men). It is in this respect that feminism has affected the

performance of Western heterosexual masculinity. Crucially, men's

inability to know women means that they are unable to know women's

pleasure. Understood in this way, women's pleasure is something

over which men have little real control, since they can neither

understand it nor understand how it is achieved. Williams argued that a

change occurred from the stag films of the 1950s to contemporary

hardcore pornography. In her view, the former's "lack of

concern for the woman's pleasure is precisely what the contemporary

hard-core narrative feature can no longer exhibit" (Williams, 1990,

p. 92). A result is that hard-core pornography is an attempt to situate "pleasures within its own discourse to represent the visual truth

of female pleasures about which it knows very little" (Williams,

1990, p. 117).

Given the fundamentally phallic nature of pornography, the attempt

to present women being pleasured comes down to the insertion of the

penis; for "in the sexism of heterosexuality the self-identity of

men is inextricably tied to their penises" (Thomas, 1999, p. 131).

(29) In the first instance, this is an erect penis. The erection,

however, immediately refers to the attributes of the penis that is

erect. In this context, "the focus on hardness, strength, activity,

and endurance in hegemonic masculine sexuality determines how a man

measures his own 'success in sex'; it centralizes sex around

the penis and universalizes penises ..." (Potts, 2000, p. 89).

Williams noted this in her discussion of the money shot, which

represents perhaps the most graphic illustration of a failed attempt to

represent the penis as phallus. Here the phallus-penis only represents

power when it disconnects from the body over which it "has"

power. For Williams (1990), "we might properly call it a lack of

relation to the other, a lack of ability to imagine a relation to the

other in anything but the phallic terms of self" (p. 114). The

problem is that the phallus-self immediately refers to the penis-self

and the fundamental question of Western heterosexual masculinity

("am I man enough?") refers directly to the possession of a

"man enough" penis.

The problem is twofold. It reflects a failure to imagine

women's pleasures in other than penile (phallic) terms. (30) It

also makes the penis the sole bearer of the possibility for women's

pleasure. In a primarily visual medium, this makes the capacity to

sustain an erection and the size of a man's penis expressions of

his capacity to produce satisfaction (at least as far as other men are

concerned, and it is they who are most important for the manifestation

of true manliness).

It is at this point that MegaCockCravers takes on particular

salience. (31) For here we are presented with women who can only gain

satisfaction from men with "mega" cocks. The women who

(allegedly) have created the Web sites "are a group of girls who

come together for our love of oversized shafts.... We are not

embarrassed to say all we want to think about is sucking and riding the

biggest cocks around. If you think you have a big enough man pole to

meet one of us and be featured on this site, email us here...."

While men are encouraged to email these women, as Monica put it,

"Please don't respond unless you are 14 inches or

larger." Whereas, for Sara, "unless your potential is at least

12 inches rock hard, you don't have a chance." Sunshine, on

the other hand, "usually settles for average sized guys because its

so hard to find a thick cock over 12 inches."

None of the women of MegaCockCravers can be satisfied by men whose

penises are less than 12 inches long. (32) Indeed, the pleasure that

they derived from sex with men who possess such penises produces

cravings. Kayla's "passion for massive cock takes up all of

her free time.... Her record cock is 14 1/2 inches, and she's still

looking for bigger. Kayla, aren't you ever satisfied?" After

experiencing sex with a man with a "mega" cock, Sunshine says

she'll "never be the same," and all she "can think

about is fucking a cock this big over and over again."

Dana "never imagined she could become addicted to massive

cocks. She was so used to her boyfriend's average 5 1/2-incher that

she didn't think it got much better than that. Until a friend

hooked her up with a guy who was 15 1/2 inches long and about 7 inches

around. She said it hurt at first, but now she's hooked!" The

importance of this narrative is the lack of satisfaction with average

penises that Dana experienced subsequent to having had sex with a man

with an above-average penis.

The message that is central to these narratives is that female

satisfaction cannot be truly achieved by men with average-size penises.

To be man enough, in this context, is to be well above average.

Men's anxiety concerning their ability to satisfy women may be

evidenced by the significant amount of spam associated with penis

enlargement and drugs to counter impotence (such as sildenafil [Viagra],

tadalafil [Cialis], and vardenafil [Levitra]). A number of Web porn

sites offer free access (on a trial or longer-term basis) for those who

supply an email address. To provide an address is to be placed on

mailing lists that are sold to Internet-based vendors. The probability

of consumers of Web porn being inundated with spam that offers penis

enlargement and drugs and other treatments to improve erectile stamina

is very high.

Being "man enough" then would seem decreasingly possible

for most men. This is not only because they possess normal-sized penises

and can achieve and attain normal erections. It is also because they are

unlikely to have the time, resources, or other attributes necessary for

achieving the number of conquests that are available to them in a world

replete with libidinous women. In short, Web porn creates conditions

under which many men may become increasingly anxious with respect to

their ability to perform according to redefined standards of Western

heterosexual masculinity.


The increased and enhanced accessibility of Web porn make it

significant both as an expression of the anxiety that underpins

performances of Western heterosexual masculinity and as a source of the

intensification of that anxiety. The possibility that Web porn may

intensify that anxiety means that it is of particular interest to those

who study masculinity, especially Western heterosexual masculinity.

Anxiety need not be understood as a problem, though its potential

intensification of anxiety may make Web porn either a significant

personal or social problem. Anxiety may be considered an essential part

of psychological development. Otherness may also be an inescapable

attribute of being human and, should this be a source of anxiety (either

in disturbing projections of sameness or in frustrating a desire on the

part of human beings to know the other), is an inescapable attribute of

being human.

The facts that feminism has heightened this anxiety and Web porn

has intensified it provide no ground for believing that eliminating the

effects of either of them is desirable. Indeed, the greatly increased

access to pornography that is enabled by the Internet may reveal the

anxiety expressed in pornography to increasing numbers of Western

heterosexual men. It may also make them more aware of those processes in

society and Web porn that intensify the anxiety they are assumed to feel

as Western heterosexual men. These effects may result in some desire for

either personal or social change on the part of those men for whom this

anxiety and its intensification are troubling.


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(1.) I have limited this discussion to Western heterosexual

masculinity to provide a limit to the discussion and to avoid speaking

for sexualities other than my own.

(2.) This is manifested both through the simulation of blogs and

the use of misspelling and poor grammar that might be associated with

natural communication. These will become evident in the extracts from

the sites reproduced below.

(3.) See Blazina, 2004.

(4.) These are,,, Bignaturals.tom,,,,,,,,,,,,, and

(5.) Accessed this article on 22-6-2004.

(6.) The material used in preparing this article was that available

free of charge from the sites.

(7.) See Horrocks, 1995, p. 119.

(8.) See Blazina, 1997.

(9.) See Williams, 1990, chapter 1.

(10.) See, for example, Addelston (1999, p. 337), Frosh (1994, p.

113) and Giddens (1992, p. 28).

(11.) See also Websdale's discussion of the "Predator

Law" (1999, p. 109) and Lynch, 2002.

(12.) For a discussion of the relationship between hunting and

masculinity, see Connell (1995, p. 194-195), Fine (2000), and Luke

(1998). For discussions of women and hunting, see Houston (1995) and

Stange (1997).

(13.) For Horrocks (1995), porn "returns the 'dirt'

to a bourgeois world which had tried to pretend that no such thing

existed" (p. 107).

(14.) See also Blazina, 2004.

(15.) Wight (1996, p. 164) has argued that this dichotomization of

women is present within all manifestations of hegemonic masculinity. See

also Giddens (1992, p. 111) and Joffe (1997, p. 171).

(16.) A study of rape sites would provide even clearer evidence of

the way that Web porn sites manifest men's anxiety. For rape sites,


(17.) See Williams, 1990, p. 95. Bukkake is the word commonly used

for sites devoted to the "money shot." See

(18.) Envelopment is just as available a description but has not

been used in order to reflect a man's perspective.

(19.) From Barron and Kimmel (2000), "Internet newsgroups are

the closest thing to the all-male locker room that exist in the

pornographic world.... Any adequate explanation of the increased

violence and shifting relationships between victims and victimizers,

then, must take into account the distinctly, purely, and uncorruptedly

homosocial element in the Internet newsgroup" (p. 166).

(20.) According to Cowie, the rape fantasy is "apparently

found as commonly in men as in women ..." (1992, p. 142). "We

cannot assume, therefore, that the man watching the porn film showing

scenes of violence identifies only, if at all, with the male (or female)

figure who conducts the violence. The wish for a passive position in the

sexual relationship, even without the attendant masochistic fantasy, is

extremely common in male sexual fantasies" (Cowie 1992, p. 145). In

Horrocks' (1995) view, men "want to be that rock hard

inexhaustible penis, and have it. One can want to be the penetrator, and

the penetrated" (p. 122). In Needleman's (1997) representation

of Lacanian psychology, "constituted on the axis of the phallus,

male homosexuality is the dominant paradigm of all male desire" (p.


(21.) Incest sites also reflect this aspect of pornography (in

particular For a portal to incest sites, see

(22.) For a list of sites that use this theme, see:

(23.) "Mature moms with overflowing tits, big round asses and

full lips that make a perfect vacuum seal around a cock. Take a look at

some of my missions ... at least make sure your mom isn't here ...


(24.) For Frosh (1994), "sexual abuse is a function of

men's own abhorrence of the feminine within--it is a kind of

continuing assault on the body of the mother.... The man's rage as

he experiences sexual desire, associated with a breaking down of

masculinity and a sucking back into the body of the powerful mother, is

extruded onto the woman, who is, both individually and socially, the

sanctioned recipient of violence" (p. 113).

(25.) This is supported by an apparent proliferation of spam emails

that advertise penis-enlarging and erection-sustaining procedures and


(26.) These women are not presented as deviants--sluts, perhaps,

but not "nymphomaniacs." For a discussion of the construction

and reconstruction of nymphomania, see Groneman (1994).

(27.) Some of the women depicted in the other sites are offered

compensation for their involvement. The women of 8th Street Latinas

"will do absolutely anything to get their citizenship," those

of Street BlowJobs and SlutBus are offered money (in the latter not

actually paying the women is an important part of the narrative), and

those of Mike's Apartment do so for accommodation. The other sites

make no mention of payment or any form of compensation.

(28.) In his discussion of Australian men's magazines in the

1950s, Laurie noted that, "for men, the ideal type was the playboy,

uninhibited, highly sexed and successful in the mating game. Much of

this playboy image, however, represented fantasy and wishful thinking.

Indeed, these magazines themselves demonstrated that such male dominant

worlds of carefree sex and no responsibility only existed in

cartoons" (Laurie, 1998, p. 123).

(29.) "The penis becomes the organ which articulates need,

loneliness, grief, love, hatred, fear, anxiety, and so on"

(Horrocks 1995, p. 113).

(30.) This might be associated with the (Freudian) understanding of

woman as lacking a penis and, as a result, that the vagina is a void

that must be filled if a woman is to be satisfied.

(31.) There are a number of Web sites of this type available, which

include and (now hosted on


(32.) Material available on the Web suggests that the average male

penis is 5.9 inches when erect. See


Murdoch University

Perth, Western Australia

Correspondence concerning this article should be sent to Ian Cook,

Politics and International Studies, Murdoch University, South Street,

Murdoch, Western Australia, 6150 Australia. Electronic mail: