Janey Godley's Blog

London’s Time Out magazine has launched its search for stand up comedy award nominees, there isn’t even a Scot on the line up but if you want you can vote for me, that’s only if you want to, I believe people are unaware of the competition so I am drawing your humble attention to it. You click on the link and click on who you think should be nominated OR you can put Janey Godley in ‘other’. If Bush can get voted in twice surely I can get at least ONE vote? Thanks Love Janey Godley. http://www.timeout.com/competition/liveawardscomedy

Went into town today to pay some bills, I hate paying bills; I want that money to buy things! The good news is I have downloaded some great live Steely Dan music onto my IPOD and that carried me through the boring bank queue!

 

Husband is doing my yearly accounts and I hate that more than period pains, it is made more difficult because my PC crashed in September and all my invoices and each gig that had been inserted with how much I have been paid was wiped clear! So I had to go through the whole diary and I used the blog to jolt my memory as to where I was and how much I got paid. It was hard trying to recall each payment, its ok with the bigger clubs as those payments are standard payments, but smaller gigs and corporate gigs proved a real chore!

 

Good news though, Time Out the famous London ‘what’s on’ magazine called me and asked me to write my own article which will advertise the gigs I am doing when I am back down in January, this is a real honour for me, Time Out is a well respected magazine. I have written four drafts of the article and am paranoid that’s its just shit.

The town was busy today and I hit the sales, got some neat stuff from Boots as they always have a great sale for small toiletries and bits and bobs that I pay full cash for normally. I suppose what I should do is buy ALL this years Christmas gifts now and that would save me enormous amounts of time this December, but me being me didn’t bother.

 

I am currently researching Sony Vaio laptops to buy and have seen some cheap ones on the web, as my own laptop is crap and over heats and blanks out and weighs more than a small fat sheep when trying to carry it around the UK. Its like being pregnant again lugging it around over my shoulders and trying to support its weight through airports and train stations.

Sony Vaio weighs only 2kgs and my old one weighs 9kg’s!

So it’s a new year and I must get off my fat ass and lose weight again, no more chocolate for breakfast.

 

PS there is new funny pics on this link, click on A Political and check them out#

 

http://uk.photos.yahoo.com/janeygodley/

Can’t believe it really is 2K6, can you. I am 45 on 20th January and feel like my life should be over by now eh? When I was 22 I imagined that when I was 45 I would be menopausal (Please let me womb stop bleeding…bring it on) but I aint! I imagined I would be wrinkly and wearing brightly appliquéd jumpers with busy butterflies and shiny sequins on them (like all the 45 year old women I knew when I was 22 years old) but I am not. Well there are some wrinkles but certainly not as much as my mum had when she was 45, I remember her face clearly. She died an old woman at 47, I am sure some of you know my mum was murdered by her violent boyfriend in 1982, she was found in the River Clyde four days after he took her a late night ‘walk’. I don’t mean she was an old woman, but she looked like an old woman and behaved like an old woman and that’s what most women her age looked like in those days. My mum adored Judy Garland, she danced like her and almost lived like in the addiction department as well and strangely both of them died aged 47. Getting back to the point, I think my mum’s generation didn’t foresee a working life after 40, certainly nothing more than working as a dinner lady or cleaner anyway. They weren’t brought up in the 1940’s and 50’ to assume they could raise their kids then apply technological moisturisers and start shagging 20 years olds…like we are constantly fed by US sitcoms! (trust me you don’t need to be wrinkle free to let a 20 year old fuck you, you just have to have a good enough memory to remember to forget them afterwards… so I am told). They never knew women who had ‘plastic surgery’ unless it was of course some poor woman whose husband tried to burn her in a fire and they grafted a new pinkie on her hand but left her face like a melted carpet….they just never foresaw regular people to have boob jobs or stretch marks being erased by lasers so the 45 year old could hit the beach in a tiny bikini! I am of the generation of women who will work forever and try to look after themselves, manage their own lives and love and work to their own rules. My own marriage has went through several regenerations…I was the original 80’s bride who wore shoulder pads, big hair, make up, high heels and sexy stockings and was into aerobics, to keep me trim, I survived on 300 calories a day (if it was good enough for Princess Diana, it was good enough for me), I ran a business, had a baby and was always ready to look good and provide hot foods and sex on demand …then I was the 90’s woman, turning my back on the job my husband had allocated for me (running the bar he owned) and became a stand up comic and started to travel alone for the first time in my married life…I even carried my own passport and cash! I had opinions that I shouted loudly from a stage and ran my own business managing myself. I dressed to suit me, I let my hair grow longer, I got into my own music, I rebelled against everything I held dear as an 80’s woman and practically left home leaving him holding the baby (by then a school girl) and I demanded sex when I got home from a trip and revelled at reading my own name Janey Godley (not my married name…that’s Storrie, but I changed it legally to Godley) in the comedy magazines and listings. Now I am 2K woman and we are still together, I work he cooks, I earn, he accounts it, I spend, he smiles and hides a grimace, I laugh, he laughs and we rub along fine. I do have enormous amounts of regrets and stuff I have done and I wish I hadn’t. I wish I had learned to shut up and listen more, I regret talking over people, I regret undermining other peoples emotions and above all I regret the red dress and pill box hat I wore at a wedding in 1989. I looked mental, I don’t regret the stretch marks ( have you seen my beautiful child? Because she worth it!), I don’t regret the scars on my knee (football as a youngster -I was GOOD!). I don’t regret standing up to people who undermined others, I don’t regret telling a dirty joke loudly in the Vatican City last July beneath the Popes window over a mobile phone to a fervent Catholic! (I should have had more respect…really), I regret missing some performances at my daughter school theatre, but I was on stage working to pay a mortgage and that’s life…still I do regret that. I am eternally sorry for all the people who were my Uncle David Percy’s best friends and were really hurt and shocked when I got him imprisoned in 1996 for sexually abusing me as a child, that was rotten for them and not their fault…still that’s what happens when you touch kids and hope they grow up have a good enough memory to remember to forget them afterwards! Happy 2K6 all…je ne regretene!

I had a great gig at Glasgow Jongleurs, the crowd was just awesome and it can be scary doing stand up comedy at Hogmanay….as the Glasgow crowd can be mental, but there was just wonderful. I was tired as I have been up for nights watching all my BAFTA dvd’s, being a BAFTA member is a very serious business, I do get all the latest films from Harry Potter to King Kong to Narnia, including all the smaller films and indie movies and I watch THEM ALL as the first round of voting in January 4th. I have been busy taking notes and being critical about the whole screen play business! So tonight I went on stage as host and had great fun. I left as soon as the show was over as I wanted to be home to bring in the New Year, and to top it all I was on TV as part of the Hogmanay show on STV! It was odd sitting there watching myself chatting about Scottish events from 2005, but I am chuffed to bits they showed so much of me! It was recorded three weeks ago, remember the blog? Where I was convinced I had a moustache? I have to say I did have a wee bit of a creepy spider on my top lip and my husband said in the middle of me talking “That’s a shame you have your moustache” and I was horrified, but he was joking he told me later. The thing that bothered me was my yellow teeth hence the reason I am getting my whole set of yellow choppers whitened and veneered, it may cost a lot but at least I can smile without worry. I know they are not really yellow but they are dull and it’s a history of eating sweets and bad diet, I am from Glasgow for fucksake like my mother in the 1960’s could afford toothpaste? NO! We never got toothpaste or sunscreen or any of that preventative care, we were lucky if we shared a stock cube for dinner! So I am old enough and ready to pay good money for a bright smile and that’s what I am sharing today, this first day of 2006 to all my blog mates…a big dull but soon to be bright smile Happy 2006, may your family be safe, may your days be good, may your wages buy dental care, may your kids grow up free and may all your hopes be fulfilled.