http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life en travel travel Thu, 15 May 2008 13:01:00 +0200 daily 1 "This is way juicier than any of my soap scenes." Aubrey interjected. "It gets even better," Emily continued, "I went over to say hi to James because I work with him after all, it would have been rude to ignore him.  He introduced me to Isabella and said they were on a business dinner.  I wonder why a business dinner would involve top of the line champagne." "Didn't Isabella recognize you?" I questioned. "That's the best part!" said Emily. "She gave me a knowing look with her eyes, but then gracefully said, ?Nice to meet you Emily.'  She completely ignored the fact that we were grade school classmates." "Maybe I should bring some of this good stuff to the writers" Aubrey said aloud. Aubrey works as an actress on the New York based soap, Only One Day of Life.  Unlike other people who fall into the soap opera business, Aubrey's life desire was to be on a soap.  She loved the thrill... Thu, 15 May 2008 13:01:00 +0200 http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Real-Life-Soap-Opera/24/ http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Real-Life-Soap-Opera/24/ "Isabella Rainer!" I exclaimed and questioned. "What's that witch doing in New York?" Isabella Rainer had been the class bitch growing up in our hometown on Long Island.  She tormented me about my high school boyfriend Ethan because he had a slight case of acne (and now he's my husband), mocked Emily because of her 'plain Jane' wardrobe, and made fun of Megan and Aubrey just because they were out best friends.  My favorite thing about graduating from high school was getting away from the small town little people like Isabella who didn't deserve the honor of even knowing me. "Don't you remember when she hooked up with Brian Zaner?" asked Aubrey. "That was hilarious for the rest of us.  Gorgeous guy and football team captain.  Has one night with little Isabella Rainer and then doesn't want to see her again! I reveled in that for over a week.  Every time she glared in my direction, I couldn't help but laugh." ... Wed, 23 Apr 2008 15:12:00 +0200 http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Town-Tramp/23/ http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Town-Tramp/23/ When Emily flew into the coffee shop one Wednesday morning, Megan, Aubrey, and I were already gabbing away and sipping their lattes. Emily, Megan,  Aubrey, and I have been friends since grade school.  We met while we were 'tortured' by our fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Suisserfeld.  As the four of us passed through junior high school and high school, our bond was never broken.  We did explore their own identities through college while attending Columbia, UCLA, Cornell, and NYU respectively.  Post-college, we all met up in New York City, living near each other, working hard, and meeting for coffee and snacks whenever their schedules allowed.  "What's with the crazy speed today?" asked Megan, "have any juicy gossip for us?" "Come on guys! You know this is just how I normally, naturally walk," replied Emily. "We're in New York City anyway; we have to hustle and bustle here." She quickly motioned the barista... Wed, 24 Oct 2007 16:12:00 +0200 http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Coffee-Klatch/22/ http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Coffee-Klatch/22/ Six months ago I dated a guy named Ethan.  He was the second nicest guy I ever went out with.  We only went on three dates because the chemistry just wasn't there.  Two weeks after we stopped going out, my friend Teresa called me and said she was set up on a blind date with him.  Clearly I told her to go for it because maybe they would hit it off.  And they did.  They have been dating about six months and things have been progressing.  Just this week they decided to invite a bunch of their friends over and hosted a BBQ.  This was really only the second time I saw them interact with each other.  That was two days ago. Today, I got a call from my friend saying that Ethan and Teresa are getting engaged tomorrow night. "What?" I said.  I couldn't believe it nor could I stop laughing (I respond to anything by laughing). I don't know why this is so strange for me! Most of you will think that I think it's weird because I dated him and now he will be in my life... Mon, 24 Sep 2007 15:50:06 +0200 http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Couple-of-Friends-or-Coupled-Friends/21/ http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Couple-of-Friends-or-Coupled-Friends/21/ Ever want to tell a person off? Want to yell exactly what is on your mind? Of course you refrain for fear or embarrassment for both you and the person to whom you'd be yelling at.  It is easy to get angry, and it is much harder to control the anger.  Anything can bother you and make the hairs on your arms stick up and figurative smoke come steaming through your ears and nose.  It is important to stop for a moment and in a quick second evaluate the situation. I will explain this in a way to which everyone can relate.  Parents. Mom and Dad.  Of course they do things which are bothersome to their children.  It only gets worse as the children grow into adults.  They forget something important that you told them.  They don't understand what you are saying and you in turn get extremely frustrated with them.  Or they think they can use the same parenting skills that they used when you were five years old.  The next time a situation like this arises, you must stop what you are doing. ... Tue, 04 Sep 2007 13:11:57 +0200 http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Bite-Your-Tongue/20/ http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Bite-Your-Tongue/20/ One of my best friends is getting married this week.  Though our mothers have known each other since their single years, we (the daughters) were never friendly because we didn't live near each other or attend the same schools. Lucy (not her real name) and I finally became friends on a summer touring program when we were sixteen.  She was painfully quiet back then and it took her a long time to bloom into the gorgeous woman she is now. After that summer program, we became great friends.  We worked at sleep-away camp together the year after and even bunked in the same cabin.  Though we went to different high schools, we ended up spending our college years together.  We could talk for hours and felt extremely comfortable telling each other our deepest darkest secrets.  As her wedding approaches, I reflect not only on my friendship with Lucy but also on all of my childhood friendships. Most of them began when I was fifteen and sixteen years old and then when I entered... Tue, 28 Aug 2007 16:28:20 +0200 http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Old-Friendships-For-Life/19/ http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Old-Friendships-For-Life/19/ Just this week my best friend and I both had dates.  Mine was a second and I knew it probably wouldn't go past that.  My friend Jane (yea, her name's not really Jane) had a nice time on her first date and would have gone out with the guy again but he didn't want to pursue the relationship.  Though Jane didn't really care about seeing this guy again, she couldn't help but have a slightly bruised ego.  Basically she was rejected.  And even though she didn't care about this specific guy ? it still hurts to hear that a guy doesn't like you.  Jane and I go into every date thinking it'll be up to us to decide if we want to keep dating them.  Pompous? No.  Egotistical? No.  One needs a certain self esteem confidence when dating and this is how we get through it. As Jane and I were still dissecting her date (yea, we talk endlessly about thing even when they are over ? we are women), she brought up her broken relationship that ended over a... Thu, 02 Aug 2007 13:14:05 +0200 http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Time-Heals-All-Wounds/18/ http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Time-Heals-All-Wounds/18/ Why is it that when and if these three little words are said, only THEN does the relationship become significant? You mean to tell me that the minute before those words were uttered, the relationship wasn't so serious? How important is this loving expression to relationships currently?  My girlfriends and I say "I love you" all the time to each other, either when we need a pick me up or to end a phone call.  My friends and I usually say, "Love you babe." (Let's hear it for female empowerment). I think most people have a hard time saying these words to others because they don't really know what they mean.  Does "I love you" mean I love you just right now? Or will I love you forever?  Men and women are scared to say it to each other in a relationship because they might think it automatically means that they intend to make a lifelong commitment to one another.  I fully believe that this expression can be said to many people over... Sun, 29 Jul 2007 14:51:25 +0200 http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/I-Love-You/17/ http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/I-Love-You/17/ Through my many- er - failed relationships and even the successful ones, I have learned that the only way for people to be successful in life is with the simple method of communication.  For all the talking people do during their day, it's quite humorous to realize that people have trouble communicating the simple things in life.  I believe that the reason for lack of communication is because people are afraid.  They are afraid of what other people might say, think, or how they'll react. I am not talking about the simple aspects of communication between a wife and husband (or live in lovers) when one asks the other to remember to pick up a carton of milk. I am talking about something more substantial like communicating how you feel.  There are certain phrases that are very powerful and will get the point across: "Your comments really hurt my feelings." "It really bothers me when you -" "I'm really upset about -... Wed, 18 Jul 2007 14:35:56 +0200 http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Communication-is-the-Key-to-Life/16/ http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Communication-is-the-Key-to-Life/16/ Ah, relationships.  They are always present.  No matter where you turn, you can not escape them.  Most people think relationships concern your significant other and usually use the term to describe their romantic, love life relationship.  Don't get me wrong, that is completely true, but you must realize that relationships are there when you may not even realize.  I'll start with the obvious, relationships with your parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.  Though I am not a pet owner, I have heard that people have relationships with their pets (please remember that the mouth that kisses your pet also kisses your lover, just something to think about).  Next are friendships.  I have four best friends who I turn to when I need advice or support (and you know, 300 other friends/acquaintances). You may also have relationships with your neighbors.  Be advised, these come in handy when you need to borrow a cup of sugar. For the less obvious... Thu, 12 Jul 2007 13:05:56 +0200 http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Relationships-Many-Ways-Shapes-and-Forms/15/ http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Relationships-Many-Ways-Shapes-and-Forms/15/ There is no doubt about it - a relationship is something that has to be worked at.  Some people may believe that once you get married, then that is it.  Perhaps they think that the hardship is finding the right partner but once that is accomplished it is all plain sailing.  But such an eventuality really is a story book ending.  You have found your partner for life and everything is wonderful?  Not only that, but you live happily ever after?  This sounds more like a fairy tale than real life. In reality, it doesn't really work that way.  It just cannot be that people find the right partner and then slip into blissful happiness for the rest of their pleasant trouble free lives!  The married relationship and the workings of the family unit are matters that require constant attention.  Efforts on both sides are necessary to ensure a successful union.  This type of relationship is a matter of give and take.  Otherwise, it will not work out in the long run.  I ... Mon, 09 Jul 2007 13:17:28 +0200 http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Married-Bliss/14/ http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Married-Bliss/14/ Have you ever considered the relationship between a teacher and student?  At first among the younger pupils, the teacher is usually more of a caring and loving character.  This is in order to ease the transfer for a child from nursery school or kindergarten to 'big school'.  In these early stages of school life the teacher-child relationship is often viewed rather like a care giver as the teacher is seemingly replacing a parent during the daytime hours. As the years pass by and the child becomes older and progresses in school years, the relationship between the teacher and the student does change.  The teacher - or a good teacher anyway - needs to ensure discipline in the classroom in order to produce a suitable learning environment.  In my opinion, this is a very important aspect that needs to be present in the classroom. Although the teacher-student relationship may sometimes be of a friendly, caring and perhaps almost loving nature, in my experience the best... Wed, 27 Jun 2007 14:10:46 +0200 http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Teacher-Student-Relationship/13/ http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Teacher-Student-Relationship/13/ No, this is not a blog entry regarding a big brother as in George Orwell 1984 style.  This is something completely different.  What interested me here is the relationship with a big brother.  I have the fortune - or misfortune - whichever way you look at it - of being a 'sandwich child'.  This of course relates to being a middle child and has nothing to do with food.  I have an older brother and a younger brother and each one has produced a totally different relationship. A big brother is often considered someone to look up to.  This brother has usually paved the way for siblings to follow and is usually to be admired.  This is true in my case.  I suppose he was the guinea pig as far as my parents were concerned.  This is not meant in a cruel sense but just relates to the fact that as he was the first child, certain things were tried out on him.  Here, I am referring to methods of bringing up a child, matters of discipline, etc.  So, by the time they... Thu, 14 Jun 2007 14:14:22 +0200 http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Big-Brother/12/ http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Big-Brother/12/ There is nothing quite like a childhood friendship that has lasted for years.  You know the type of relationship that I am talking about - probably with one good friend - certainly not more than a couple of such friends.  This is the kind of friendship that even if you have not been in touch for a long time, you can still pick up the strings where you left off.  You both are familiar with the other one's background and family.  Perhaps you were at school together and know some of the same friends.  You have a similar upbringing or culture and enjoyed similar things in the past - such as books or television programs when you were younger.  In a way, it is irrelevant how much time has gone past since the last meeting as when you do get together, there is no need for explanations as you both know each other so well.  You begin a conversation as though you just left it a day earlier. Such a friendship is like gold and should be treasured.  In my opinion, we only... Wed, 06 Jun 2007 14:37:59 +0200 http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Childhood-Friendship/11/ http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Childhood-Friendship/11/ A mother - daughter relationship is certainly a very special - even if sometimes difficult - relationship.  For some mothers, as soon as the baby is born, a special almost inborn connection is there - for always.  For other people, it does not seem to be an automatic tie and building a foundation for a relationship takes longer.  As a mother, it is strange to see a small reflection of yourself.  People around constantly say how much she looks like you.  There are often similarities in mannerisms and speech.  Often a daughter will have a similar character to her mother - they say that it is in the genes.  This could either mean that the mother and daughter will get on well - as there appears to be an in-built understanding of each other.  Some become very close and spend a lot of time together.  On the other hand, such a similarity could lead to clashes for example, stubbornness.  When both sides of the relationship are stubborn - and even very stubborn - this can cause problems as neither... Sun, 27 May 2007 12:45:03 +0200 http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Mother-and-Daughter/10/ http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Mother-and-Daughter/10/ They say that 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' - but do you think that this is really true?  From my experience, an extended absence more often than not places an unwelcome strain on the relationship.  I realise that times have changed and even when there is a great distance involved, modern technological advances have made a great impact on the ways in which a relationship may be conducted.  Development in the field of communication has made a great effect on the options available. Today, one can enjoy instantaneous contact by telephone and mobile phone. That is without mentioning fax machines, which to some extent are already outdated. Text messages are also a possibility as are e-mails and instant chatting options via the Internet.  These days, video meetings also provide an alternative in which people may see each other and communicate even when not in the same room, town or even country. This is all very nice - but can you really hold a relationship in... Mon, 21 May 2007 12:19:09 +0200 http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Absence-in-Relationships/9/ http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Absence-in-Relationships/9/ Every child is a source of joy and endless wonder.  My relationships with my children are a fascinating, dynamic and sometimes-frustrating work in progress. Marriages aside, the most significant relationships I have are with my children.  I have 4 kids of my own, each one is completely different than the other, and my relationship with each one is unique.  My oldest son is 27; he is the most unusual of all my kids and our relationship is special.  He's married to a wonderful girl (6 years his junior) and they do their own thing in a lifestyle pretty different than mine or my ex-husband's.   He is the kindest soul with a heart of gold, a sweet, sensitive guy who brings a smile to my face whenever I think of him.  His sister, who's 25, mother to my 2 beautiful grandchildren, gave me and her father the hardest time when she was a teenager and there were years when I had no idea what direction her life would take.  But she met her true love when she was a... Thu, 17 May 2007 15:15:11 +0200 http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/My-Children-are-My-Life-s-Work/8/ http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/My-Children-are-My-Life-s-Work/8/ I had no idea how so many people stayed married for so long until I suddenly realized that I felt the right kind of love to make it work. As I mentioned, after my first marriage failed, I was seriously marriage shy.  Since I wasn't entirely sure what went wrong, I wasn't at all sure that I could ever do it right.  I met my second husband about a year after I was divorced and though we hit it off right away I had a lot of stuff to work through before I could commit.  Interestingly, his marriage was a lot worse than mine (as was his divorce and subsequent relationship with his ex), yet he was ready way before me to make the re-plunge.  I have to give him credit - he stuck with me through 7 long years of on-again, off-again and a lot of rocky times.   The whole "what is love" thing totally stymied me; I was really quite clueless about what it took to make a marriage work.  I was full of angst and anxiety and I spoke to a few very good shrinks along... Wed, 09 May 2007 13:41:50 +0200 http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Unselfish-Love-is-the-Key-to-a-Good-Marriage/7/ http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Unselfish-Love-is-the-Key-to-a-Good-Marriage/7/ A friendship that spans 40-plus years is a thing of beauty.  One or two of your childhood friends will stick with you for life and when they do, it's a wonderful thing. From the time anyone is about 10 years old until he hooks onto his or her first girlfriend or boyfriend, the most important relationship in a young person's life is with friends.  Up until that age, parents are usually pretty central in a kid's life but once he or she hits the double digits, friends are front and center.  This is especially true for girls.  I don't remember very much about my pre-teen and teen years in terms of school or home life (more likely, I don't want to), but I remember every friend I ever had, even the ones I haven't seen or spoken to in 30 years.  In fact I have friends who I've known for over 30 years and they are the best friends I have.  I don't know a lot about the dynamics of friendships between boys.  I can only state the obvious - ... Wed, 02 May 2007 16:03:34 +0200 http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Some-Friends-are-Buddies-for-Life/6/ http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Some-Friends-are-Buddies-for-Life/6/ Once a person gets married, the most important relationship he or she has is with the spouse.  I've tried marriage twice. The first time, it lasted for 20 years and I remember very few moments when I was happy in which my husband had an active emotional role.  Almost from the get-go I had the feeling that something was wrong, that this relationship was not meant to be.  I made a lot of mistakes during that marriage and I take a lot of the responsibility for its demise but I just didn't have the tools to make it work.  After it ended - 4 kids and 19.5 years later - I spent a lot of time looking back and feeling guilty and wondering why and how and where did I go wrong.  I never did figure it out exactly.  My husband and I never fought; there was no overt hostility or resentment.  But there was very little love and loving behavior and very, very little communication, things I know are necessary to make a relationship work.  Since I couldn't put my finger on what was wrong, and... Tue, 01 May 2007 16:28:14 +0200 http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Marriage-is-the-Most-Challenging-Relationship/5/ http://www.blogigo.com/Relationships_of_Life/Marriage-is-the-Most-Challenging-Relationship/5/