Relationships of Life

Why is it that when and if these three little words are said, only THEN does the relationship become significant? You mean to tell me that the minute before those words were uttered, the relationship wasn't so serious? How important is this loving expression to relationships currently?  My girlfriends and I say "I love you" all the time to each other, either when we need a pick me up or to end a phone call.  My friends and I usually say, "Love you babe." (Let's hear it for female empowerment).

I think most people have a hard time saying these words to others because they don't really know what they mean.  Does "I love you" mean I love you just right now? Or will I love you forever?  Men and women are scared to say it to each other in a relationship because they might think it automatically means that they intend to make a lifelong commitment to one another.  I fully believe that this expression can be said to many people over the course of one's lifetime and they can mean it each time with full force and integrity.  I think it actually should be said much more so people feel loved, important, and needed.  Most people in the world have trouble expressing to others how they feel.  I think this came apparent when "I care a lot about you" became sort of a replacement for "I love you."  'I care about you' implies that you would not want that person to get hit by a car (which everyone can say they wouldn't want happen to another person except their worst enemy) and 'I love you' means you will be very upset if you heard bad news about them.  But people don't realize that "I love you" is not the end all and be all.  There are intense feelings that surpass it and those will make the person visit their lover's hospital room everyday with fresh flowers if they were ever hit by a car. (friends included)

I love you is an expression that will be around through the end of time.  My favorite song lyric is from Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol, "Those three words are said too much/ They're not enough."

Through my many- er - failed relationships and even the successful ones, I have learned that the only way for people to be successful in life is with the simple method of communication.  For all the talking people do during their day, it's quite humorous to realize that people have trouble communicating the simple things in life.  I believe that the reason for lack of communication is because people are afraid.  They are afraid of what other people might say, think, or how they'll react.

I am not talking about the simple aspects of communication between a wife and husband (or live in lovers) when one asks the other to remember to pick up a carton of milk. I am talking about something more substantial like communicating how you feel.  There are certain phrases that are very powerful and will get the point across:

"Your comments really hurt my feelings."

"It really bothers me when you -"

"I'm really upset about - "

Communicating in relationships is all about honesty and mostly confrontation, two of the things more people are desperately scared of.  People must realize that expressing one's feelings will not get them in trouble.  They may be vulnerable for a few minutes with their truthfulness, but their actions will build integrity in their character.  This is something that people admire.

The next time you are troubled by something someone either did or said, take a step back and examine the situation.  Will being frank with the person help you get over the occurrence faster? Usually getting things off one's chest makes one feel better.  Think about this the next time you realize your relationship is lacking the communication factor.

Ah, relationships.  They are always present.  No matter where you turn, you can not escape them.  Most people think relationships concern your significant other and usually use the term to describe their romantic, love life relationship.  Don't get me wrong, that is completely true, but you must realize that relationships are there when you may not even realize.  I'll start with the obvious, relationships with your parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.  Though I am not a pet owner, I have heard that people have relationships with their pets (please remember that the mouth that kisses your pet also kisses your lover, just something to think about).  Next are friendships.  I have four best friends who I turn to when I need advice or support (and you know, 300 other friends/acquaintances). You may also have relationships with your neighbors.  Be advised, these come in handy when you need to borrow a cup of sugar.

For the less obvious forms of relationships (I am a woman and these may pertain strictly to females, though you'd be surprised to know that many of them are used by males): manicurist (they know enough gossip about your life as you confess everything while file your nails), waxer lady (you know you already feel comfortable with them if you allow them to rip the hair off certain parts of your body), haircutter (you trust them with your tresses), librarian (they don't judge you when you take out Jackie Collins' novels), local supermarket cashier (learn their names, call them by it, make them smile), coffee girl/guy (they know your order: cappuccino fugde, iced coffee, 1% milk, three splenda), and the list goes on.

Though relationships may come and go, I will always be here.  I will be relaying my life's journeys, my friends shenanigans, and big words of wisdom to whomever wants to learn the true essence of relationships.

There is no doubt about it - a relationship is something that has to be worked at.  Some people may believe that once you get married, then that is it.  Perhaps they think that the hardship is finding the right partner but once that is accomplished it is all plain sailing.  But such an eventuality really is a story book ending.  You have found your partner for life and everything is wonderful?  Not only that, but you live happily ever after?  This sounds more like a fairy tale than real life.

In reality, it doesn't really work that way.  It just cannot be that people find the right partner and then slip into blissful happiness for the rest of their pleasant trouble free lives!  The married relationship and the workings of the family unit are matters that require constant attention.  Efforts on both sides are necessary to ensure a successful union.  This type of relationship is a matter of give and take.  Otherwise, it will not work out in the long run.  I suppose that this is the case with all relationships.  It is not something that keeps moving on its own.  It does not just happen.  One could say that the relationship needs watering in order to flourish.  One has to learn when and how to give in and when to stand firm.  It is important to learn when to be silent and when to shout.  It is important to listen to each other and hear each other, so that you will be able to grow old together.