Lost In the Shadows

Mood: Empty
Listening to: The TV

Hey people! I'm Arianna. Im 13 and yeah I'm in middle school (last year). I am not new to this suite but I forgot my passwords and stuff for all of my other ones so yeah I have to make a new one! Which is this. Anyways, the title of my weblog is kinda weird but it means that I'm kind of lost in life and I don't know what to do at the moment. I reacently started cutting myself. Wow, I know. It is because cause of my dad. He doesn't abuse me he is just really cruel. He is a werid person. Like he doesn't know how to talk about his feelings. But yeah he yells at me alot and he get mad over the slightest things. He used to slap me until i got red marks or hives. He stopped though, because one of the teachers at my school called the house to see what had happened. It was pretty strage. I seem to cry alot now. I'm kind of, well i guess you couls say, emotinal. So yeah I'm not emo, i just have like were ways of coping. So yeah. That's all i really have to say about thats stuff.

So about my day, well I woke up at like 5:56. I got into the shower. Took a shower. Cryed off. Then put my clothes on. So yeah then i blow dryed my hair and straighted it. After that, i asked my mom for some money because it was a half day and like oh half days we (my friends, and I) walk to like Chick'Fil'A! She gave me 3 dollars. Then I went to my dad and asked for 2 dollars. He said What are you wearing. You need to zip up your jacket your showing to much skin. I said Wow dad, it looks fine even mom-mom said so. And i need to dollars and its not my fault that mostly all shirts are made to show some skin these days. Then he started yelling at me and didn't give me the 2 dollars. I gave it back to my mom and said Daddy doesnt want me to have 2 more dollars so skrew it I'll come home on the bus. I stormed down stairs. I got my razor , and i began to make a cut on my arm. It made me feel relieved but i was crying so yeah it turned out zig-zaged. Then I grabbed my back-pack and purse and walked out of the house. I was still crying and i called my real mom. She didn't answer so I left a message. Then she called me and i missed her call. SO i called her again and it went straight to voicemail and then called again. SHe didnt answer then it said I had a call waiting on the other line so i pressed the send button so I could cross over. It was my mom. We talked for a while, while i was on teh bus, and like 10 minutes when we got off the bus. I cryed again while I was on ther phone with her. It turns out that when she was my age she cut to! So yeah! I wen tinto the cafiteria because that were we got to like sit down and talk to friend and like yeah wait for the school bell to ring. Then I went to my locker then into my first period calss. It was pretty fon though, because the teacher is awesome. Although we took like two quizzes in that same day in that same calss it was kinda annoying. THe good side is that they each had like 5 questions. It was pretty cool! In second period we pretty muched talked the whole time lol. Im my first elective we talked about our dance show coming up on Dec. 11 and 12 so yeah! In health i had to make up atest. It was only 20 questions though. Which is a good thing. The at lunch we ate. 5th period we did a worksheet. And int 6th period we just like did work. Then we left school at 12:15. Me and my bestfriend Michelle walked to her houe then we walked to Chick'Fil'A and ate there. The we walked to Its A Grind. Which is a coffe place. We got hot chocolate. Then we walk and played around and walked back to her house. So yeah. that as pretty much my day! It was pretty fun! Stay tune for my next entry!!!