I want some help

In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirith I will start a Easter feast. For 40 days I won't eat milk, meat and all product of milk and meat. It will be hard, but I pray to God to help me in that quest of mine.

I am happy to say that my boyfriend (who is total atheist) will participate in this (I am thankfull for that) in a way that we wont have sex for those 40 days. I want to do that because I want to celebrate this Easter in real Christian spirith and I do it as a prayer for mine and my boyfriends happines in marriage.

Just to be clear, I don't think that everything depends of God, but if He doesn't help and protect us, all our effort is in vaint. So I pray to God to protect us, our children and our house in future and our relationship we have now.

Thanks. Again.I will not continue this subject because I don't want you to get bored, and believe me I can be boring with such subject.

 We will have elections for parliament next Sunday. An election campaign lasts for, almost 70 days. Moreover, in this small country of mine (Serbia), there are at least ten big parties. How much small there are, I don't even know. If someone wants to watch  TV spot for their campaign, it looks like they will bring us only fortune, wealth and happiness. Nothing  bad. Sometime I wonder is there any shred of consience in them. Most of them had a chance to give it already (at least some progress) but they didn't. Just for the sake of knowledge and conversation, I would like to know how political parties lead their campaign in other countries.  

I lost my virginity in my 30th year of age. I never tought before that that I will have sex at all. It was due two things: first I never hat a boyfriend before tat and second is that I thought sex before marriage is not christian way (still thonking that way)

I think that everything has its meaning. Even sex. But I can't find meaning of sex in my relationship. I can't exept explanation like: it is natural, or all people in the world are doing it why wouldnt you?

To have someone to love and to be loved, it is ok, but how sex come in that story? It seams now like sex is everything in our lifes: if we don't do it we are like aliens or freaks. Sex is cure for every desease and so on...

I feel so much rage when people talk about sex, even I was not raped (thanks to God). I must say that I cryed when I decide to loose my virginity, for whole four months, and my boyfriend was so patient and carying those days. He waited for me those four months Even now I can't find my peace of mind about that. When I have sex, I feel like I have job to do, not like I want to do it.

I must say that I don't judge people, by saying this. Those are just my toughts. I want to explane myself why do people so much need sex in their relationships and why is it soo big problem when there's lack of it?