Clean-Up-Luxor-Campaign

My name is Wennessee Tilliams and I work with the mater in her frightfully fancy boutique in Beauchamp Place close to Harrods. My name came from her after pater did a runner.  She said “When I see him again …….. ”, and Wennessee it was from then on. 

She has never forgiven me for being expelled from my prep school for indecent behaviour.  How was I to know that one of our classmates was normal, even though he was a real butch number?  Nevertheless, mummy has restricted my allowance to a mere l,000 a month, UK that is, what can one do with that pittance even though she pays for my pied a terre in Hans Court.  Consequently, my days are spent modelling Dior’s and Versace’s wearing a pair of plastic boobs simply because my waist is a mere 22, centimetres not inches.  The ignominy of it all my dears!  My best friend Sebastian simply ignores me nowadays. 

Well one must make do and it was a stroke of luck to meet one of the writers  of Pink Piggy Tales on my last foray into Egypt.  I used to go to Morocco but there is no fun there any more and Egypt has so much more class. He admitted that there was talk of making a movie about Pink Piggies and he was searching Soho for a script writer and suitable characters to portray the characters in these fictional tales.  Unfortunately, nothing suitably sleazy has been located and he is extending his search to Marseille but I came up with “Dogs Under a Hot Tin Roof” of which I am inordinately proud. 

Incidentally, I must let out a little secret, the tales are simple a must in London’s underground clubs as the most successful fictional stories since that notorious novel, Fanny Hill, hit the news stands. Because of my sexual precocity and knowledge of French I was asked to help search for unknowns to play the parts of the fictional characters.  What a task, Mummy thinks I am mad to become involved and suggested I would have more success searching for the Holy Grail. She is a darling but so negative! Obviously, we will have to dub any conversation as French is not widely used in Burnley where our main characters originated. 

I rather fancy playing the part of Leafy myself.  Of course, I would have to put on at least 150 lbs, but what an excuse to gorge, and I don’t mind having my head partly shaved to be more in character.  Naturally, his age would have to be considerably reduced.  Really, on second thoughts, I couldn’t go through all that deplorable decay and devastation without the backing of Equity and what of my reputation. However, I do feel that my background and foray into journalism, I used to write the church magazine when I was l7, well equips me to add more spice to the delightful articles that are currently the talk of the publishing world.  Madison Avenue is definitely knocking at the door and my next effort will open on Broadway.   

Wennessee's next play will be "A Service Car named Desire"  and will be uploaded as soon as Wennessee has finished it.