Saying Goodbye
So, my poor five year old has been having trouble with the loss of our dog. It is difficult for any family member to move on after this type of loss. People who don't have animals often find this silly. "Move on," they say. "What is your problem - it's just a dog." But, to anyone who has ever owned a dog, cat or other animal - you know that it really does make a difference in your life. And it's very sad when they die.
So, what do you do to help a child overcome the loss of an animal? We didn't realize how sad Timmy was until we were watching a movie. We watched a beautiful movie recently called "My Dog Skip." At the end of the movie, the dog dies of old age. Well, poor Timmy. He went crazy. He was crying and couldn't be consoled. And it wasn't only that day. He kept bringing it up days later and was begging us for a new dog.
We spoke with a therapist friend who had a few great suggestions. First of all, she recommended that we buy a helium balloon, have Timmy write a note to Griffey, and send it up in the air. It was a great activity that Timmy really enjoyed - and he felt a sense of relief as he watched the balloon float away. Next, she recommended that we let Timmy pick out a stuffed animal that looked like Griffey. He can sleep with it, play with it, and keep it by his side. Finally, she told us to let Timmy talk as much as he needs to, but also to be very clear with him if we aren't going to get another dog. Don't let him think that there might be a chance.
These activities have helped, and Timmy seems to be doing better. Saying goodbye is never easy - but having techniques for coping with this helps us to deal with it.
