As a parent to twins, your own thinking style is constantly on show and your twins are attending closely!
The significance of positive thinking at the life of your twins
Why would you want your twins to be an optimist? Because pessimism (the opposite of optimism) is an ingrained pattern of mind that has far-reaching and tragic significances: underachievement, resignation, depressed mood, and even surprisingly poor physical health.
Twins with positive thinking skills are better competent to take disappointment, have a tougher sense of personal mastery and are well talented to jump back when things slip up in their lives.
Because parents of twins are a most important provider to the thinking styles of their twin’s developing mind, it is important to stick to these following 5 footsteps to guarantee strong mental behaviors in your twins.
1) Parents should learn to reason optimistically about themselves. What twins see and hear indirectly from their parents lead their life and interact with others effects them far more than what parents try to teach them.
Parents can model optimism for their twins by joining positive rational skills into their own way of thinking. This is not easy and does not happen overnight. But with some training nearly everybody can learn to reason differently about life’s events, even twins parents!
2) Parents should teach their twins that there is a link between how they reason and how they feel. Parents can do this most easily by saying clearly how their own thoughts about difficulty create negative feelings in them.
For instance, if mom or dad are driving their twins to school and a driver cuts them off, the parent should express the connection between their opinions and their feelings by saying something like: “I wonder why I’m feeling so mad, I guess I was saying to myself ‘Now I’m going to be late since the man in front of me is driving so slow. If he is going to drive like that, he shouldn’t drive through rush hour. It’s so rude.’”
3) Parents can create a game with their twins called ‘thought catching.’ This helps twins learn to recognize the feelings that fly across their minds at the times they feel worst. These feelings even if barely visible significantly shake temper and behavior.
For example, if one of the twins received a poor grade, you can ask: “After you got your grade, what did you say to yourself?”
4) Parents can teach their twins how to estimate reflex thoughts. This means recognizing that the thoughts they say to themselves are not necessarily correct.
Such as, after getting the poor grade the twin may be telling himself he is a disappointment, he is not as clever as his other twin or other children. That he will certainly not be capable of succeeding in school... Several of these self-statements may not be correct but they are involuntary in that state.
5) Parents can instruct their twins on how to produce more precise justifications when bad things occur and use them to test their twin’s automatic but incorrect thoughts. Part of this practice includes looking for sign to the contrary (e.g: achievement in other life areas, good grades in previous exams etc).
Another skill for parents to teach their twins to help them think positively is to decatastrophize the situation, which help your twin see that the bad incident may not be as bad or will not have the adverse costs imagined. Insufficient things in life are as devastating as we fear, however we blow them up in our minds.
Parents of twins can guide the thinking styles of their twins by demonstrating the principals of positive thinking.
Read more about twins at: www.allaboutwins.com